Love The Way You Lie

I’ve heard the song as person’s ring tones, and on the but I’ve never really paid attention to it till a couple of nights ago, and decided to watch the video that later left me appalled! I’m talking about ‘Love The Way You Lie’ by Eminem and Rihanna.

We all know how angry, spiteful and crazy an individual he can be, as well as Rihanna, who none the less let’s just say REALLY, REALLY NEEDS JESUS, but because of my experiences in life the song tugged at my heart in a bad way. I became enraged at the imagery! Unable to hear clearly the first time past my racing thoughts, I Googled the lyrics and thought to myself, ‘Why are they doing like this is alright?’

I find Rihanna’s involvement and agreement to collaborate in the single was very contradictory; seeing that she was once the victim of domestic violence. I honestly thought that she would have gotten her life together, and I hope that she does, yet after the incident it plummeted further. From having videos that showcase suicide, vulgar and obscene behavior to this; loving the man that seeks your demise.

Be it friends or family I’ve seen so many ladies fall prey to deceitful men who don’t fear God. It hurts honestly when they have come from good backgrounds and ended up with hateful individuals that lay hold of them, without the ability to stand up or think for themselves.

Domestic abuse by definition of Trinidad and Tobago Coalition Against Domestic Violence is:

A pattern of behavior which usually occurs within intimate relationships, where one partner maintains power and control over the other person. Abuse can start early in the relationship or it can start later. There are many types of abuse, which may occur in different situations.

Domestic violence manifests itself in a number of ways:

•Physically

•Emotionally

•Sexually

•Financially

•Verbally

•Psychologically

Domestic violence is something still swept under the carpet and will be justified in the eyes of the abused. For someone like Rihanna who endured that type of abuse; doubled with the fact that it was public, was reason enough to say no to the song. So yes you left the man but you’re singing to millions of young women that you love the burn, the slap, the black eye and the hate and insecurity that he puts you through.

It seems as though this is another attempt by Satan to contort what TRUE LOVE is. Anytime I think of what love is my mind flashes to the book of Corinthians13:4-5 (Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth (brag/boast) not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil…)

I just had another look at the video and the imagery was confusing honestly. It began with lovers in a bed with the woman realizing that there’s a lady’s phone number written on his hand and there’s where the brawl began. There were slaps, spitting and a heated exchange of words but it soon turned into a passionate love scene which is to me sick and twisted.  Whilst watching the video I tried to really capture the message. Was there a message?

Apparently after pulling up other sites, the purpose of the video was to bring awareness of the plight of abuse in relationships to the international community. The actors Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox as a couple accomplished the feat of highlighting the stages of their more than complicated relationship. But does it really bring awareness or glorify the act?

Given both artistes history in music (Eminem and Rihanna), I’m not the slightest bit touched by their claims. One person on another website commented the following…

‘No kidding. Em has a whole career built on glamorizing violence against women, but hey.., one song with Rihanna, and his legacy's redeemed? That seems to go contrary to the EXACT message of this song: just because an abuser momentarily *seems* to change, doesn't mean he will!”  I'll bet millions will applaud the song without realizing they are falling for the very tricks the song warns about: buying into a blatant abuser's self-serving propaganda’

I agree fully. At the end of the day these artistes pocket  the profits and what happens to the young woman that may see this and may not have been exposes to the supposed ‘explanation’? What happens when she begins now to internalize the thought that ‘It’s okay if he hits me. I love the burn, the pain, the deceit and lies’? What will become of her then?

When we listen to their songs, play the videos and talk about them with such admiration we begin to say we accept what’s being portrayed. For a man that has been out of a loveless marriage for all this time, he has a number of unresolved issues. If you’re truly over than individual you would bury the hatchet and move on in peace but he continuously rehashes the past and being this public about his abusive nature concerns me. Just listening to him you can become enraged as well. That spirit follows through from the artiste to you. We must continuously ask of the Lord to guide our daily footsteps.

In proverbs 4:14 – 18 David cautions Solom by saying “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. 15  Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away. 16  For they sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away, unless they cause some to fall. 17  For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence. 18  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.

We need fathers to mentor these men and show unto them the paths of righteousness. I beg of you, anyone that may be reading this and may know of boys or young men that need guidance do so. We have a perverse generation because of your absence of wisdom and correction.

To the young ladies that may be involved in unhealthy relationships, stand up for yourselves, find the courage to fight back and leave. That first blow surely isn’t the last. Ask God to be with you and to make the provision to leave. I knew of a woman that stayed and her husband beat her till she was left in her pool of blood and unconscious. Thank God things have turned around for them but it may lead to death for you.

My prayer is with all of those that struggle and battle to move on I pray that He leads you out safely.

Written by :

Esther James

 

Features - Opinion